The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured regardless of the make or year due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype, units code named Adam, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed Sub-sequential Internal Non-Moral, or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms - loss of direction, foul vocal emission, amnesia of origin, lack of peace and joy, selfish and violent behavior, depression or confusion in the mental component, fearfulness, idolatry, rebellion. The manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.
The repair technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The toll free number to call for repairs in all areas is P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected please upload your burden of SIN through the repentance procedure. Next download atonement from the repair technician Jesus into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the sin defect is, Jesus will replace it with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness faithfulness, gentleness,and self-control. As an added upgrade, the manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident maintenance technician - the Holy Spirit. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence on the premises.
Warning - continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids the manufacturer’s warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human being unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service call on Jesus. DANGER the human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter heaven, so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice.
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